Couples Therapy

There’s a wealth of advice on how to improve your relationship—from talking to friends and reading self-help books to couples therapy that focuses on solving individual and shared problems by dwelling on instances where one partner has said or done something that’s been upsetting for hours over an extended period.

Even with the best intentions to save the relationship, such approaches can backfire because they often involve shared rumination. Furthermore, they lack evidence of long-term effectiveness. Studies show that excessive shared rumination has negative consequences for our romantic relationships and our mental well-being.

We’ve found that traditional approaches—shared rumination, analysis, self-help, and classic couples therapy—do not effectively improve relationships.

Many couples also rely too heavily on unhelpful strategies to solve their issues. These strategies typically include:

• Shared rumination: Couples dwell on their problems together for hours in an attempt to solve them.
• Worrying: Spending time worrying about the relationship, the future, or insecurity about each other.
• Arguments: Spending time fighting over disagreements.
• Threat monitoring: Keeping an eye on each other’s negative behavior.
• Signal analysis: Overanalyzing your partner’s behavior (“Why did he say that?”, “Why did she do that?”).

If couples spend hours daily dwelling on their disagreements in an effort to solve them, they often end up feeling more stuck in their thoughts and paradoxically worsening the relationship.

The problems don’t get resolved, and the unpleasant emotions that arise linger for hours or even days. Perhaps that’s why American studies show that only 60% of people feel satisfied in their relationships.

Think back to the last time you argued or analyzed your partner’s behavior. Did you really resolve the conflict? Did sadness, anxiety, or irritation linger afterward? Were you able to focus on your children, a walk, or your work?

In metacognitive couples therapy, you’ll gain tools to:

• Communicate better with each other.
• Collaborate more effectively.
• Let go of unhelpful strategies—both individually and in your relationship.
• Resolve unnecessary conflicts and handle necessary ones in a more constructive way.

At Cektos, we see daily evidence that when couples reduce unhelpful strategies through metacognitive therapy, sadness, anger, and anxiety decrease significantly. Many clients report increased presence, energy, and intimacy in their relationship, alongside fewer conflicts.

Would you like to hear more about our couples therapy or schedule an appointment with one of our psychologists? We’d love to hear from you. Please write to info@cektos.dk.